Daily routine for kids? Yes!
A daily routine gives kids a sense of calm and stability and are a great confidence booster. Read more to understand the why, and some fun ways to implement the routines for your child.
Why A Daily Routine Works
As parents, we are ready to do whatever our kids may need to help them succeed:
I want my child to have a good lunch so they aren’t hungry in school and they can focus on their classes.
Making sure they do their homework is important, of course!
Driving them to school isn’t a big deal for me, and then they can have ten more minutes to sleep in the morning.
Isn’t that what good parenting looks like?
Yes, and no.
Doing things for our kids is a way we can express our love. Being a parent requires constant giving, and little humans depend on us for their survival.
That doesn’t contradict the fact though, that kids that are taught to do things for themselves, to follow a schedule and routine, are more confident, independent and happy.
What Age Should Kids Start With A Daily Routine?
Kids can start with a daily routine that they have an active part in, as young as three years old. But by four or five a daily routine is a necessity if they don’t have one yet.
To clarify – my kids have daily routines as newborns. I am talking about routines that they can “own” and execute on their own.
There are all kinds of methods to develop routines for our kids that are fun and effective. If the idea is for kids to gain a level of autonomy, being dictated to all day will not result in confident, happy kids.
We need to help create a routine for them, using a method that they can implement on their own.
The Flip or Flap Chart
At these young ages, I like to start with a “Flip Chart”. Using pictures if my child doesn’t read yet, I use the flip chart to create a morning routine. The chart is created using a cardboard or file folder, velcro and pictures of what you want your child to do.
In the morning the flaps are all open. The image of what they need to do is on the inside of the flap, so it is now visible. Once your child performs the task, they close the flap (flip it up!) over the image of the task they just completed. The velcro is used to hold the flap closed for the completed task.
Some tasks in a young child’s morning routine may be:
- Make bed
- Get dressed
- Eat breakfast
- Brush teeth
Depending on your child’s age and what needs doing in the morning, you can add to this. You can find a free printable that mammapapabubba.com put together, or just grab a marker. It doesn’t need to be fancy. Supplies you will need: file folder, velcro dots. Everything else you should have at home.
Lauren Giesting went viral with her bedtime routine version of it (When my 21 year old was about 10 he had one for morning and evening and loved them both). What I love about Lauren’s is how simple her version is. No need to have a Cricket or art skills.
Why Even Little Kids Need A Daily Routine
Terrible twos? I used to find this happened closer to three, but regardless, here is why. This is the age kids begin to want some independence and control over their own life.
Until now, mom and dad had to do everything for me, but I am starting to see I can do stuff all by myself, and I like it!
What may seem like our cute, sweet baby, turning into a rebellious monster, is our child developing and growing. Daily routines will help your child harness their newfound desire for self reliance. This transforms a chaotic and unstable time in a child’s life, into a time of confidence building and growth.
This is also the age when a child seeks attention, good or bad – they don’t seem to care.
Let kids experience what good attention feels like! Positive feedback from mom or dad as they complete their tasks will feel better than feedback for pouring their dinner all over the floor.
They seem so little, but they are way more capable than they are given credit for and they feel so good when they accomplish tasks that many other kids their ages are having done for them.
How Our Kids Daily Routine Improves Our Relationship
I had a parenting teacher who always mentioned the 80/20 rule of parenting. She said our children need 80% positivity from us and 20% negativity each day. Constructive criticism falls into the negative category. Telling our kids what to do falls into the negative category as well. So while it isn’t actually negative per se, it is still coming out of the 20% negativity allowance.
By creating the charts, my nagging and constant instruction aren’t necessary. “Eat breakfast. Didn’t I tell you to get dressed already? Put on your shoes? Get dressed RIGHT NOW!”
I might need to remind them to do their flap chart – but that is one item versus however many items are on their chart. Plus the flap chart has an element of fun to it.
I am happy to save my 20% for the more important lessons in life, that can’t be gained in a chart.
The ‘After School Routine’ Clock Method
When my oldest kids were grade school age, they came home from school and just wanted to relax. Aside for homework, they had extracurricular activities they had committed to.
Either I would force them to do everything that they had to take care of before taking their free time, or they would procrastinate until they were almost out of time, and then cram everything in before bed time. This was a lose-lose situation. Option one had me nagging every night, option two had them going to bed feeling overworked.
Around that time I saw an article in a magazine that showed the clock method and I loved it. I bought simple white clocks from IKEA, created a clock for each child and hung them all in the kitchen.
I gave each kid some free time as soon as they got home, and then created time for homework, violin practice etc., dinner, showers and more free time before bed. Visually seeing the large pie of “free time” that had passed on the chart made them feel they had actually had a decent amount of down time. It helped them with time management and sticking to a schedule.
What you will need: a wall clock you can open, close and color on, a pack of colorful sharpies.
KidsActivities has a full article on it and WildBrain Zigzag did a quick instructional video you can see here:
The Jobs Board or Chore Board
The kids living in my house now, full or part time, span a large age range. The oldest is twenty-one and the youngest is five. Although it sometimes seems easier to do everything myself, taking on the full responsibility of keeping house on my own is not good for my kids.
I also don’t like asking people to do things, it isn’t a good feeling for me or them. That is why I love the chore board.
Set daily jobs don’t work for us right now, and the board has been a life saver.
Everybody can see the board when they come into the kitchen, they can check out their job and get it done without me having to say a word. I can allocate jobs for every age, and all on the same board.
Even for the times when everyone had their daily chore, the chore board was great for a quick house reset at the end of a long, busy weekend.
How The Chore Board Works
The chore board I use is really just a big magnetic white board with little magnet buttons. I had fun putting different colored laminated paper on and spray painting the buttons gold, but it was extra and not necessary.
- Use a large magnet board (I like the black frame on this one)
- write all the family members names on the leftmost side of the board
- with the rest of the space available, draw a vertical line down the middle
- Using a sharpie, write down any and all jobs/chores you can think of on the magnet buttons – empty dishwasher, sweep kitchen floor, vacuum rug, empty all trash bins, wash dishes
- Keep all the magnet buttons either at the top or bottom of the magnet board, or in a container
- Decide which jobs you would like to give to which family member and place that magnet button on the column closest to their name
- when they have done the job, they move it into the right column
I love walking into the kitchen, and just seeing at a glance if buttons have begun to move or not.
Daily Routine, Kids, Conclusions
So do I bring my kid their lunch if they forgot it? Do I pamper them by driving them places they can easily walk? Will that stop them from learning the consequences of their actions or spoil them?
Having kids who have been responsible at maintaining a daily routine from a young age has had a great influence on them. It has allowed me the opportunity to spoil them a bit when I can, or give some extra TLC when I think they can use some.
When I drive them somewhere they can easily walk to, they appreciate it. They have more of a sense of responsibility for themselves and don’t think I am on this world to be their personal chauffeur, chef and maid.
Start your kids on a daily routine now, and let us know how it goes!
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